


you can dance if you want to

by gulkote



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Dance, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chrom Being an Idiot, Everyone Is Gay, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Pining, Reality TV, References to Depression, Show Business, Trans Male Character, Trans My Unit | Reflet | Robin, anna is here for money and drama, most likely, very stupid and very silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gulkote/pseuds/gulkote
Summary: Chrom is once again regretting his life choices to be on this show. He might be heavily embarrassed here, on national TV. Trying not to have a breakdown about his dead sister. While he does the one, singular thing, that reminds him most of her.Chrom has made a very big mistake.___I've watched 4 episodes of Chopped, and 1 episode of So You Think You Can Dance, and this is the product of that. It's a dance show AU! I found that a lot of fics in this fandom are angsty and sad as hell, I needed something silly to cheer myself up.___this is also updating at a snail's pace, jsyk





	1. so, you think you can dance?

Four months later, Chrom hasn’t been outside his apartment building more than a grand total of seven times.

First, to meet with Lissa and Frederick in the attorney's office. It was the worst 4 hours in his life.

Second, the wake at the funeral home. He doesn’t remember who was there or who spoke to him. Doesn’t remember who brought flowers or not. Just that the casket was closed and Lissa didn’t let go of his hand.

Third, the actual funeral. Two perfect blond siblings standing on a frozen hill under a grey sky. Not realizing he couldn’t feel his fingers until Frederick pulled them away to go home. Feeling so empty, unable to cry.

Fourth was back with the attorney again. Hearing everything in Emmeryn’s life sorted into a list and bullet points. It was somehow more cold and clinical than the call from the hospital. Her whole existence reduced to “set of fine china, 30 pieces, for Lissa”. It could be funny, in about 5 years.

The fifth time was to see Lissa off to the airport two weeks later. He had held her for as long as he could. They were too tired to cry.

The sixth time was get groceries because there was only a bag of flour left in his pantry. After the second grocery run, he realized that he could have them delivered, and he hasn’t been out since.

It could have been worse. He could have run out of money halfway through. He’s getting dangerously close, but Chrom’s not broke yet. He can afford to stay inside for a bit longer.

xxx

Frederick calls him Friday night midway through a skype call with Lissa. They just add him into the call.  
“How are my two favourite clients?” Frederick has his reading glasses on and he looks like a strict school principal.  
“Freddy,” Lissa sighs, “we’re your only clients.”  
“That does not mean you are not my favourites,” Frederick counters, “and I have some good news.”  
Chrom teases, “Did you finish your puzzle?” Him and Lissa had given him a two thousand piece puzzle of some idyllic cottage scenery last Christmas. Frederick had griped about the amount of “general green texture” tree pieces.  
“Did you know I actually have? I’ve been gazing at it fondly while I think about destroying it.  
But that’s not the news,” He draws himself up and waits until Chrom and Lissa are giving him undivided attention. “You are invited to be contestants in the fifth season of Dance or Die.”

There is a few seconds before it sinks in. Lissa is the first one to make an audible reaction, a soft “oooh” escaping. Then her smile breaks out, and she’s nodding. “Aw hell yeah, Chrom, h-e-l-l-y-e-s.”  
Fred gives a small chuckle himself. “I’m glad this is well received. Considering how neither of you have done much in the recent months, I thought this would be a good opportunity to go and, break a leg.” Lissa groans.  
“Well, I think I’m done with moping about. And Maribelle has been bugging me to go visit her.” Lissa sighs and rubs a hand over her face and yawns. “You can email the details and stuff tomorrow, right?”  
“I can even send it later tonight.”  
“Tomorrow is fine,” She rolls her eyes. “Chrom, I love you, but be prepared to lose big time on TV. Goodnight guys,” Lissa sing-songs as she hangs up.  
“Bye Lis,” Chrom calls to her before she disconnects. Oh boy. This wasn’t the greatest of news.  
It must show on his face, because Frederick gives him one of his Looks™. Chrom can sigh and grumble all he wants, Frederick is not going to stop being an over-concerned parent until he vocalizes what’s bothering him.  
“Look I just,” Chrom takes a very deep breath. Thinks about the physical demands the contest is going to have. He hasn’t danced any routine in 4 and a half months. All the people he’s going to have to be around, let alone the camera crew. Lets the air out. “I don’t think I’m up for this.”  
“I am sorry to hear that. And I understand.” Frederick smiles reassuringly at him. “However, I’ve already told the producer that you were on board and there is no changing that this late in the game.”  
“Than- I, e-excuse me?” Chrom can feel the floor disappear beneath him.  
“I have already agreed to have you and Lissa on the show.” Frederick looks too cheerful.  
“Why,” is what squeaks out of Chrom’s mouth.  
“Because, you are in need of a swift kick in the ass to get moving again. You can’t hide in your apartment forever.”  
“I’ve been out,” Chrom protests, “I go to the gym once a week.”  
“The gym is still inside your building. You haven’t seen the sun.”  
“It’s not my fault it rains in spring.”  
“Chrom. I will tie you up in a sack and carry you there myself.”  
Chrom groans and runs a hand through his hair. It’s grown out considerably. “I’m not getting out of this, am I?”  
Frederick grins wide, “Not a chance. I’ve also emailed you the details of the show, so please look over them. I’ll be calling again in a few days to give you a more accurate timeline and what to expect.”  
Chrom lets out a strangled “alright” while Frederick wishes him a goodnight.  
He drops his phone on the couch beside him. Buries his face into the cushions. This could end very, very badly.

xxx

Gaius texts him 3 days later. He should be sleeping, but he’s watching the Great British Bake Off for the 4th time. His sleep schedule has been a mess for so long, he’s stopped caring what time it is anymore.

Skittles: 12:01am  
I heard SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE ON TV????

Lordly: 12:03am  
yeah fred threatened me with bodily harm if i didnt

Skittles: 12:05am  
Yessss me 2 :))))  
i missed u  
Sort of dropped off the radar there pal

Lordly: 12:06am  
Not to worry, I’m still alive on this bitch of an earth  
Also: nice!

Skittles: 12:08am  
are you really going to do the show? fred really thinks its a good idea with everything that’s happened this year and all

Lordly: 12:08am  
he will physically drag me out of my apartment if i dont  
said he’d tie me up in a sack  
he said yes before he even asked me

Skittles: 12:09am  
Oh the nerve of him  
He’s just thirsty for that ass to be on tv

Lordly: 12:09am  
DONT SAY IT LIKE THAT  
sides lissa is going too

Skittles: 12:10am  
DOUBLE FINE DOUBLE BOOTY THEN

Lordly: 12:11am  
NO!!!!

Skittles: 12:12am  
hey want me to check if i can go see you before that big opening night thing? i bet i can get a flight with a layover overnight w u and then we can go the next day or we can chill for a few days or whatever

Chrom has to think about this. It means more people to put a face on for. More people to pretend that everything is alright to. But it’s Gaius, and he also has not seen him in 4 months. He’s been unfair and very selfish.

Skittles: 12:14am  
i get it if u dont wanna its cool

Gaius is still giving him an out. After he pretty much ghosted all his friends.

Lordly: 12:15am  
haul your candy ass down here  
i want to dye my hair before my public debut

Skittles: 12:16am  
:))))) yea boiiiii  
wait dont you get points off having ur hair dyed in competitions n stuff? isnt that why u cant

Lordly: 12:18am  
this isnt a competition  
It’s a TV show ;)

Skittles: 12:19am  
eyyyy chroms finally gonna let his wild side shine  
what colour are you thinking

Lordly: 12:20am  
remember when it was blue? that but not as scene kid

Skittles: 12:20am  
u will always be my scene kid  
Imma change ur phone name to MR BLUEBERRY  
cause ur now officially a fruit

Mr Blueberry: 12:21am  
let me know when ur flight is so i can stock up on candy  
Also fuck off

Chrom looks around his apartment. It’s a mess. “Whelp,” he sighs, “time to get my act together.”


	2. lights, camera, satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ya girl anna welcomes you to opening night

Two weeks later, Chrom is hot, sweaty, and regretting his life choices. He’s crammed backstage alongside a small crowd of people, all of them patiently waiting for their cue. Some are friends he’s known for years, they’ve met at various dance camps when they were younger, or the in competitions. There are only a few faces of people he doesn't know.

 

He takes a peek through a very small gap in the curtains. The opening night audience seems to fill every single seat in the house. Lissa peers out from around his shoulder. “Dang, that's a big turnout,” she whispers.

“Hey! Quit it with the curtain!” someone hisses at him.

Chrom drops it back in place, whispers a “Sorry,” behind him.

Lissa gives him an impish look. “First you dye your hair, now you're breaking some rules. Finally entering your rebellious stage, I see.”

Chrom gives her side a pinch.

Lisa's retaliation is stopped by the sudden flare of trumpets.

 

The music swells out and lights wave, converging on the centre curtain, as Anna walks out. She’s waving madly at the audience as they clap and cheer. Anna sounds as hyped to be there as the crowd.

“Hey, what's up babes! It’s me, your girl Anna!” The answering noise from the crowd is absolutely deafening. She knows how to work a crowd. “Welcome! To Dance or Die!”

The noise is off the charts. Chrom knows Anna the producer in addition to the MC, but he has no idea how she got people to invest so much into this. This season specifically.

 

Anna carries on, her voice light and cheerful. “We’ve got some new judges on for this season!  But we still have our favourites on board. Let me introduce them now!”

“It’s the ever hard to please Validar! He will only accept the best performance and is gonna push our contestants to the next level!” Chrom is familiar with him. Validar judged him and Emmeryn a few times when they had international competitions. Chrom remembers him as being one of the biggest hard-asses he’s ever met. He could find a fault in the Mona Lisa. And he's been a judge on this show for every single season.

Anna continues amid the scattering of applause, “Virion, duke of Rosanne! He’s a real duke y’all! And he's got the dance skills and the smarts of any true nobleman.”

From the audience's high-pitched screaming response, Chrom is guessing that Virion is blowing kisses. Another peek outside the curtain confirms it. Virion has judged him multiple times; he’s always been fair and terribly polite. Chrom actually quite likes him.

“Our newest judge this season, Flavia! The president herself! She knows what it's like to stand at the top!” The crowd increases their volume to sound like a roar. Lissa scoots in front of him for a peek at the stage. Chrom shares a quick glance with her. Flavia is a _judge_? She is almost as big a celebrity as any movie star by now. Being the president of the dance association of the whole damn continent sure comes with prestige. How Anna has got Flavia here when she has so many other duties to perform, it’s anyone’s guess.

 

After the audience quiets down a bit, Anna skips over to the opposite side of the stage. Chrom has to adjust the curtain a little bit to follow her movement.

“We also have are our choreographers and trainers! Our blushing babe Olivia has joined us for another season! Joining her is our equally beautiful boy Robin!” The two walk out to stand on either side of Anna on stage. Anna reaches up and gives both their cheeks little pats. “Both are gonna make sure our contestants have all the right moves to be number one. These guys have won a stupid amount of medals! And we’re here to get schooled!”

Lissa whispers back to Chrom, “Her lines are terrible. There’s no theme!”

Chrom gives a shrug back, “The crowd is eating it up though. She’s doing _something_ right.”

Lissa _harumphs_ as he turns back to peek out of the curtain slit.

Chrom knows Olivia, and she looks much the same as he remembers her, standing on stage in a little pink dress. She seems to still hold herself in that nervous way; but Chrom’s seen her become a commanding figure when she dances a routine.

Chrom starts to evaluate her partner. Robin…? Asian, white bleached hair, he’s only a little taller than Olivia. His purple button up and white pants make him look paler in the spotlights. Chrom doesn’t know him.

“You think we would know him if he’s supposed to be as good as Olivia,” Lissa whispers at Chrom from over her shoulder.

They get interrupted by a fierce whisper, “ _What did I tell you about leaving the curtain alone?_ ”

Chrom instantly drops the fabric and shuffles back a few steps with Lissa in tow. Guess it was audio only from now on.

 

“Now, on to our main stars!!” Is what Anna roars alongside the applause. “Let’s meet our contestants! All of them have unique dancing backgrounds and favourite styles! Let’s get this show on the road!”

Joining us from the west coast, It’s Gaius! This boy is bringing some sweet hip hop moves!” Chrom tries to tune out the crowd and the little interview Gaius has with Anna and the judges. Chrom is trying to rack his brains once more for where he could have potentially met Robin. 

Anna sings out Maribelle’s name to the crowd. Robin’s face seems familiar, but he just can’t place him.

Chrom turns back to his whispered conversation with Lissa. “Does Maribelle know him? I saw you talking to her earlier.”

Lissa taps her chin, thinking. “I don’t think so. She didn't mention it? Maybe someone else will know who our mystery boy is?”

A nervous girl called Sumia is called out by Anna. “The sweet flower girl from that one viral video-you know the one with the horse?”

Lissa turns slowly to give him a sly look. “Is someone... interested?”

“Lis,” he says flatly, “It hasn’t been longer than 20 minutes since I’ve known he exists.”

 

Anna’s voice cuts through, “The power couple is here, Stahl and Sully! They’re both in it to win it. Together or not at all!” Chrom starts. Sully is here? He didn’t even see her. If Sully found out he’d skipped out on a lot of his gym routine… she’ll kill him. Even more incentive to do well on this show.

They’re next after Cordelia, a self taught ballet dancer with a background in rhythmic gymnastics. She sounds very dedicated and earnest.

Chrom takes a deep breath as he hears the last of the applause for Cordelia end.

Lissa cocks her head, and sticks out her elbow towards him. “Ready to go my good Sir?” She even waggles her eyebrows.

Chrom gives her a roll of his eyes, and links his arm in hers. Tries to make his voice a bit stuffier like Maribelle’s, “I am perfectly ready for the audience’s approval Madmoiselle Lissa.”

Anna’s voice summons them out to the stage, “It’s lord of the dance; Chrom! And princess of dance, Lissa! They’re both here to REIGN SUPREME!”

The stage is huge and Chrom is momentarily blinded. People are cheering. Once again he’s the centre of the world, with a sister on his arm. But this sister is too short, and her pace is measured differently when she walks beside him. Chrom wishes he was anywhere but here.

He laughs and waves at everyone with Lissa instead, smile wide.

 

Arm in arm, they make their way across the stage towards Anna and the table of judges.

Anna is still maintaining her enthusiasm at max level. “So! You two are both absolute dance champions!”

Both of them just smile. Chrom rubs the back of his neck. “Well, when your entire family is dedicated to it sure, I guess you could say that.”

Anna’s expression shifts very quickly into something very soft. “I am so sorry about your sister, you two. She will be missed by everyone here.”

Chrom has to fight to keep the smile on his face. And then the terrible realization hits him. Him and Lissa are the big drama magnet for this season. This is why it’s production level is off the charts. He would very much like to punch Anna right now.

Lissa saves him, “We certainly miss her! Dancing really isn’t the same without her.” She squeezes Chrom’s arm very tightly.

Anna smiles sweetly at them, “Well, we sure are pleased to have you here, and we can’t wait to see what’s next for you two.”

Flavia calls from the table, “Break a leg you two!”

Both of them say their thanks, and leave to the side of the stage amidst clapping and cheering.

 

Bhind them, Anna begins to channel the studio energy towards explaining the contest rules. Chrom can’t find it in himself to stay mad. He’s just tired at this point.

 

Maribelle finds them backstage. “Hello dearests, aren't you thrilled for next week?”

Lissa gives her a pained smile, and nods earnestly. Maribelle gives them both a concerned look intense enough to rival one of Frederick’s. Pursing her lips, she flips her curls, then continues her small talk. She seems to understand that they both need to be distracted for a little while.

 

Anna is wrapping up the act. “I wish all our contestants this season to break a leg! Here it is!” She pauses. “The first challenge envelope! And the style… this week… is …” There’s a very dramatic drum roll as Anna opens the envelope.

“Ballet! Grace, elegance, and poise.” There is a murmur that ripples through the audience, followed by a small applause.

Anna sing-songs out, “And don’t forget this week’s penalty!”

Lissa mutters sourly, “I almost forgot, that is also a thing that is happening.”

Anna sighs happily as she opens a second envelope. “This challenge is innocently straightforward. We’ll up the ante as this season goes on!” Chrom can almost hear the wink in her voice. The word “innocent” repeats itself in his head. Chrom has a sudden fear for the weeks yet to come.

“Don’t let your traffic cone fall off your head! Keep your poise perfect, and you’ll win the round!”

Chrom is once again regretting his life choices to be on this show. He might be heavily embarrassed here, on national TV. Trying not to have a breakdown about his dead sister. While he does the one, singular thing, that reminds him most of her.

Chrom has made a very big mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to have every shepherd in here but...then this fic would be 20 chapters and that's a little too much effort for me rn  
> I just want to note, that tharja is robin's agent, and she texts him 5 times a day, mostly just asking if he's dead in a ditch somewhere
> 
>  
> 
> you can also yell to me about this on twitter, I'm @gulkote on there!


	3. Fake Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was getting way to big, so it's split into 2! it's a little sad, but the good times are coming up

Monday morning, Chrom shows up at the studio, ready to die. This going to be the most physically active he’s been in a _very_ long time. He’s going to be so sore.

The first person he sees in the room is Sully, and she instantly spots him from over Stahl’s shoulder. Oh boy.

“CHROM!” She roars at him, “YOU FUCKER! GET OVER HERE!!” Stahl glances over his shoulder and smiles at him. “Hi Chrom,” he waves.

“Oh, look at my wrist sorry Sully,” Chrom turns right back around to the door. He doesn’t even bother looking at his wrist. “Gotta go, see ya.”

She catches him before he’s even reached the handle, wrapping him tight in a bone-crushing hug. Chrom feels his feet leave the floor.

“Hey buddy, we missed you.” Stahl gives him a far gentler hug from the front, over Sully’s arms.  

Gaius saunters over, and mockingly puts his arms around all three of them. “I too,” he states fake sobs, “have missed you.”

Lissa and Maribelle appear from the other side, “O brother,” Lissa wails, “when did I see you last?”

Chrom wheezes out, “Fuck off.”

Sully sets him down, and loosens her hold on him a bit. “I’m glad your alive, twerp. The hair is cute, when did you do that?”  

A voice comes from just behind them, causing most of them to jump. “It’s nice that you all know each other. This is going to make introductions a lot easier.” As a group, they all turn to face Robin. Up close, Chrom can see his white hair is most certainly bleached, as it doesn’t match his black eyebrows. His eyes are also dark and almond shaped, his lashes are thick.

Robin gives a smile, showing off full lips, and points to the opposite corner of the room. “Also, we’re all being filmed right now.”

As one, they all swivel their heads towards the camera crew. Chrom didn’t even notice them. One of the camera men wave. Gaius waves back. Sully slaps his arm down.

“Anyways,” Robin continues, “ready to get started?”

They untangle their hug group to form a loose circle around the room and re-introduce themselves from the opening show. Besides Gaius, Sully, Stahl, himself and Lissa, Chrom has at least heard of everyone except Sumia. Sumia herself is here because a viral video that took off a month ago (she danced with her horse while unaware that her mom was filming her). She’s clearly embarrassed by it, she stutters through her whole introduction.

Lissa has competed against Cordelia once before, so Chrom knows of her. She’s only recently got into the sport, previously being in gymnastics. She seems very dedicated, if a little flighty. There is a weird hope-against-hope where he wants her to do well to boost her own confidence, but also doesn’t want the extra competition.

Olivia introduces herself again (even if most of them know who she is). She doesn’t seem to be over her social awkwardness she had when she was little. Her voice gets progressively softer through her greeting, and Chrom vows to himself to do anything to make her more comfortable. A quick glance at everyone else confirms most of them are having similar thoughts.

Finally, the mystery boy introduces himself. The introduction itself is sadly unembellished, and very simple.

“Hello everyone, I’m Robin, I’m one of your choreographers. I’m originally from Plegia, and I’ve been dancing my whole life. Don’t hesitate to ask any questions, I’ve done a bit of everything at this point, so I know a lot!”

Chrom keeps trying to place Robin’s face, and where he could have potentially met him. If Robin is as well versed as he says, shouldn’t he know of him? Maybe he’s confusing Robin with someone else, since he is from overseas. Chrom makes a mental note to google him if he has the time.

Robin starts explaining the dance he and Olivia have in mind for them to learn. After the first two days, they’re going to tailor it further for each of them. Every person technically has the same moves in their routine, just rearranged to suit them better. Then Robin turns and pulls out the traffic cone. It’s offensively orange.

“Remember,” Olivia cautions, “you’re going to have to hold your posture a little differently to keep the cone balanced...”

“We’ll take it into account as we progress through the week,” Robin reassures them, “I’m sure everyone will be fine once we hit Friday.”

The morning passes quite quickly. It’s harder than anticipated. Chrom is also remembering how Not Flexible he is. He has so many regrets about not keeping himself in better shape. He’s much sweatier than he should be by lunch. Lissa and Maribelle are having an easier time than he is.

The worst part though, it that Robin keeps touching him. It’s just enough to get him in the right posture to keep the cone on. This normally would be fine, but Robin’s hands linger just a little too long for Chrom’s liking. Gently here, pushing the small of his back. Resting a little too long on his chest. Hands on his shoulders squeeze a bit when Robin pulls them back.

But Robin is doing this to everyone, so Chrom just writes it off as “he hasn't seen anyone or interacted with people in several months and is probably touch starved now”. He hopes it is. He really hopes it is.

He’s not too tired or sore that night to run a quick google on his phone to find out who Robin is. Sadly not a lot pops up for him. Chrom can’t find his name on the list of male contestants anywhere. Chrom sighs, sets his alarm, and flops down on his bed. The mystery might never be solved, but whatever. Robin seems to know what he’s talking about so far, and Chrom supposes it’s all that matters.

 

xxx

 

The next day, Chrom wakes up feeling like shit, and it only gets worse from there. He’s _so_ sore. And for some delightful reason, just before breakfast, his brain has supplied him with a crystal clear memory of Em teaching Lissa the barre when she was 4 years old. Today’s going to peachy.

Sitting down, he smiles at Stahl shoveling 3 eggs into his mouth. He gets an excited noise back from him as Chrom slides him his extra toast piece. He’ll pay for it later, but he really can’t eat anything. Lissa flops down beside him, looking about as tired as he feels. She takes a sip of her own coffee and leans against him.

He remembers Em trying and failing to instill some sense of balance into him too. He didn't quite have the flexibility that Lissa had, and it ended poorly. He also hated it with a passion, so that didn't last long either. Looking at the top of Lis’s head, he has a huge urge to crawl back into bed. Instead he gives her cheek a poke. She grumbles as he hauls himself and his cup of coffee, up and towards the door.

“Com’n Lis,” Chrom says through a yawn, “Didn’t you say you’d make me lose big time on TV?”

Lissa puts her head down on the table. She whines, “Can’t I make you lose tomorrow?”.

“Yeah I’d like that too,” is Chrom’s response as he leaves the room. After he’s slept another 4 hours. He’s going to have to get used to a grueling schedule on top of actually dancing. Who knew it only took 4 months to completely destroy any muscles you’ve formed?

He has to quickly gulp down the rest of the coffee before morning stretches. It burns his throat. The stretches burn his legs. Robin’s touches burn his skin.

Chrom can tell by lunch, Lissa is having an off day too. She’s trying, but she’s making little mistakes Chrom knows she normally wouldn’t. Maribelle is beside her to help her out, every time. After the break, Mari positions her and Lissa to be closer to him as well, and she extends her critiques to Chrom. Chrom makes a mental note to do something nice for her when this is all over.

Despite how exhausted he is by the end of the day, it takes Chrom a long time to fall asleep.

 

xxx

 

By Wednesday, Gaius seems to have more or less gotten the hang of the routine now. He seems confident enough to crack jokes during practice.

“Ahh, Stumbles is down and out again,” He whispers to Chrom, after Sumia has made a very spectacular fall.  “Maybe we should cordon her off with the cones instead?”

Chrom bites the inside of his cheek and whispers back, “She’s trying her best.” He makes a mental note to do something nice for Gaius when this is all over. “It’s not like Stahl is doing any better.”

“I heard that,” Sully grumbles from beside them. “You’re right and you should say it. Stahl, you’re embarrassing me here.”

Stahl drops his arms and sighs out. “Sully I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m made for this.” His cone slides dangerously to the left. Stahl snaps his hand out to catch it.

“Not with that attitude you aren’t,” she snaps back. “Come on, if I can do it you can!”

Lunch is a hurried affair and Chrom still can’t find it in him to eat too much. When Gaius gives him a look, Chrom just shrugs. Gaius instead makes small talk with him and starts to hand him halves of things. Half an apple, half a cookie, halves of the tiny sandwiches. Gaius manages to make him eat almost a full lunch without saying a single word about it. He ends up giving what he can’t eat to Stahl, who delightfully wolfs them down.

For the rest of the afternoon, Robin and Olivia are a little more focused on Stahl and Sumia. Neither of them have improved in any noticeable way. Chrom tells himself Robin’s constant touches were a distraction anyway, and Maribelle is just as helpful. She doesn’t touch him as much as she does Lissa. Chrom makes a mental note to tease Lissa about this later. Maybe when he feels less like a walking (well, dancing) corpse and more like a human being.

Chrom and Lissa gravitate towards each other after the group wraps up for the night. Lissa looks just as exhausted as he feels. Together, they leave the studio, skirting around the cameras, trying to ignore them. When they finally reach the hotel, Chrom pulls her into a hug outside her door. Lissa buries her face into his chest as she hugs him back.

“You’re stinky,” she complains, voice slightly muffled.

“You don’t smell too great either,” Chrom replies, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.

They stand like that for twenty minutes. Just holding on to each other.

“I thought I was done with this.” Is what Lissa says, face still smooshed against him. Her voice has a tremor in it. “I thought it was gonna be ok. This was supposed to be fun.”

Chrom doesn’t have an answer for her, but he rubs her back until they’re both ready to leave.

He doesn’t cry until he gets into his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this was very sad, but please, it gets more and more gay and horny as it goes on, please believe me
> 
> and if you want to yell at me about it, i'm @gulkote on twitter


	4. Ready to GO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First week is over, and Chrom has survived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't really a good place to break this chapter up either. I'm still not 100% sure on how I want to structure the days during the week...  
> I could have each day be aprox ~2k but then it's 7 days and some days are a lot longer than others. Or I can just write them as I've bulleted them out already, but then that means updates are going to be very infrequent, but enormous lol.  
> There may be potential changes later. All a learning experience for me!

Chrom wakes up feeling relaxed. He’s even woken up a few minutes ahead of his alarm. Nothing like a good hard cry to make yourself feel better. He stares up at the ceiling until it goes off. Then he calls Frederick.

The first words out of his mouth are, “I hate you and you didn't tell me every single one of my friends is here.”

Fred takes Chrom’s opening line in stride, “See? Aren't you glad you left the house?” He’s disgustingly cheerful for 5am. Chrom fully believes he’s been up for at least an hour, doing something like reading a newspaper after a run. 

“Ehh, I don’t know about that Frederick,” Chrom doesn’t even try to phrase the next part any more delicately. “We’re doing ballet stuff.”

Fred’s voice is heavy from his phone, “Oh Chrom, I’m sorry. I was trying to make you feel a bit more like yourself.”

“I understand where you are coming from Frederick, I do.” He tries and fails to articulate the last few days. “It’s been...amazing and terrible. I am so happy I’m with everyone again, but I cried my eyes out last night, and Lissa probably did too.” He runs his hand through his hair, “And I am glad you did kick me out of the house, but I’m so tired I want to sleep for a year.”

“Well,” Frederick starts off cautiously, but Chrom cuts him off before he can get the wrong idea.

“I guess I’m calling to say fuck you, and thank you?”

Frederick snorts, “I’m glad you feel that way. And watch your language.”

 

xxx

 

At breakfast he doesn’t have leftovers to give to Stahl. Lissa seems to have a similar appetite as well. Chrom gives her a smile, and she smiles back. 

Morning stretches and warm ups go smoothly. There is no aching, no burning. Chrom allows himself to be pliant when Robin gives him a nudge to stretch deeper or twist more. He doesn't blush and he doesn’t freeze. Gaius gives him a wink as he sinks into a pancake, legs and nearly ninety degrees. Chrom responds with reaching over to tickle his toes. 

He’s finding the routine significantly less torturous than it had been. The movements are easier, and his stupid orange cone wobbles less. Maribelle even gives him a thumbs up after he’s run through the routine a few more times. Little victories.

During the second half of the day, Olivia makes her trips around the room while Robin is busy dealing with Sumia. Since her and Stahl are still monopolizing all the instructors’ time, Chrom is getting less and less contact with Robin. Olivia may be the sweetest girl on two legs, but her touches don’t carry the same weight Robin’s do.

Not like they weren’t distracting, or less helpful, or wanted.

But even so, Olivia is making her rounds today, and Chrom overhears her critique to Gaius while he’s sipping from a water bottle. Despite all of his confidence, Gaius’s routine is still has some work to go before it’s perfect. 

What catches Chrom’s attention the most though, is when Gaius calls Olivia baby. He honest to god, calls her baby, as casual as you please. And Olivia doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She just takes it in stride, and keeps talking like absolutely nothing happened.

After she turns away to speak with Lissa, Chrom caps his bottle and makes his way over to Gaius.

“Soooo, Gaius,” he bumps his shoulder against his friend’s. “Baby? Really? You’re gonna go with that.”

Gaius rolls his eyes at him, “Oh shut up. I'm being friendly - there is a difference.” He doesn’t look terribly flustered, but Chrom knows he can have a poker face when he wants to. 

“Sure, whatever you say,” Chrom says placidly. He makes a mental note to tease him again later.

 

xxx

 

Crunch time sets in Friday. There is only today left to get it perfect. Sumia keeps falling over, despite the two choreographers best efforts. Cordelia has even joined in and tries to give her pointers. Chrom doesn’t know if he finds this heartwarming or insufferable. 

Sully isn’t having that great of a time either, but she’s made huge improvements from the first day. Her cone doesn’t fall off, but it does wobble dangerously every so often. 

Maribelle seems to be the only one not having any difficulty whatsoever. She’s extended her critique range to almost everyone in the studio, since Robin and Olivia are so preoccupied with Sumia and Stahl. Both of them are still rotating between babysitting those two and making rounds around the room.  

Robin still seems to make an excuse to give Chrom a little touch every time he passes by. A hand on his shoulder, a push on his hip. Chrom officially abandons the idea that he is touch starved after one of Robin’s walk-arounds. He full-on  _ trails _ his hand from one of Chrom’s shoulders, across his back to his other shoulder. Chrom instantly freezes in place as Robin gives it a gentle squeeze. Robin leans over and murmurs into this ear, “Looking good Chrom.” 

Chrom can feel his face heat up. There is no way he’s just projecting this shit on to Robin. He can’t be. Can he? Is he reading too much into this? He needs to say something back.

“Thanks,” is all he can get out. Clamps his mouth shut after, because there is always the possibility that whatever he will say next will be worse. 

Robin gives his shoulder a little pat, and runs his fingers across the back of his arm before moving off to see Maribelle. 

Gaius slides over to him, cone at a jaunty angle. “Soo…”

Chrom can feel his face get hotter, “Nope, shut up.” He smacks the cone off Gaius’ head. “Absolutely not.”

 

xxx

 

Saturday is Judgement Day, and Chrom spends it being jittery with nerves. He’s a little upset at himself for being so keyed up, he should have a better handle on this by now. It’s worse because he is the last one to go, he has to wait and watch through everyone else’s performance. 

At least they’re in semi-reasonable clothes. The costumes are not overly elaborate, as Chrom knows they can sometimes get utterly ridiculous in ballet. Instead they’ve been given slim-fitting long sleeve shirts and black leggings. Chrom feels a bit like he’s been given a theme colour, his navy shirt matches his hair. 

The group of them huddle just off stage, while Anna is surrounded by cameras to the left-hand side with the table of judges. Robin and Olivia are also joining them, standing to the left of the table. Robin is looking paler than ever in a white button up, while Olivia has her hair down from her usual ponytail. She gives them a small thumbs up and a wink as Anna moves to the middle of the stage.

Ever the showman, she gives an energetic speech to the cameras, running over the scoring and elimination process. “The highest score wins! The two with the lowest scores perish! Them’s the rules.” She bounces over to the judges table, “we’re cutthroat here! You dance, or you die!”

“God Anna,” Flavia chuckles, “You make it sound like they will never been seen again.”

Virion pipes up beside her, “Just think of it as if they are taking a vacation very far away.”

“Well,” Anna drawls, “if we want to get anywhere ourselves, let’s get this show on the road then shall we?”

Validar’s lip twitches. No doubt disapproving of the pun, “Yes, let’s see who is perishing today.”

Anna spins on her heels and calls out, “Gaius! it’s all you!”

Gaius flips his cone on his head as he saunters up towards the stage. The cone’s offensive orange colour clashes horribly with his green shirt. It does however, blend in with his hair, and it makes it look like the cone and his head are one.

He takes his place, centre stage, and begins his routine. Gaius’s performance manages to make it look like the cone and his head really are one unit. 

The rest of them all politely applaud when he’s finished, and Chrom thinks he’s has done a pretty passable job. Flavia and Virion seem to agree. It’s looking good until Validar gives a score. Chrom almost forgot that this bastard was here.

Chrom gives Gaius a fist bump when he comes down from the stage. Gaius gives him a little smile, and mutters, “Not good enough for the ol’ stick-in-the-mud, but I know I’m not going home this time…” He gives a nod to Sumia. “It’ll take a miracle.”

Maribelle is next, and she somehow also manages to charm Validar into giving her a decent score. The second she turns her back on the table, Mari’s face instantly darkens and she whips the cone off her head. Chrom can hear her huff out angrily to Lissa, “He wouldn’t know good if it bit him on the nose.”

And after Maribelle’s perfectly pristine performance, Sumia’s seems abysmal in comparison. Her cone falls off twice and she will not look up from the floor when she’s done. Validar doesn’t even give her a score, he just flat out tells her to go die. She looks like she’s very close to tears when she leaves the stage and Cordelia rushes out to give her a hug. She pulls Sumia aside as Stahl goes up.

Sully hollers at him, “Don’t fuck it up! I’ll make you regret it!”

Stahl looks back to her, face almost as green as his shirt, “Please don’t make me wear this at home Sully.”

“I can and will,” she snaps back, “good luck.”

Stahl’s routine isn’t...as terrible as Sumia’s, but it’s not much better. Stahl is thoroughly out of his element doing this, and Chrom is amazed by his progress from Monday. But it is reality TV, and his resulting score is still low. He could go home.

Sully gives his back a slap as the trade places. Stahl whispers something to her as he leaves, and she scoffs at him. She tugs her orange sleeves down as she takes her place centre stage, and starts her dance when told.

Gaius turns mutters to Chrom, “Man, what is Sully so bent out of shape about Stahl for, she’s almost as bad as he is!”

“Key word is “almost” Gaius,” Lissa whispers from Chrom’s other side. “Your whispering voice isn’t very quiet either.”

“Bite me Princess.”

Sully’s score ends up being only slightly higher than Stahl’s in any case. She flips Gaius off as she descends from the stage. She opens her mouth, no doubt to cuss him out as well, but Anna’s call for Cordelia cuts her off.

Cordelia’s routine is very well received, after 3 less than stellar performances. The fact that her routine is after 3 terrible performances may have had a factor in deciding her score, because even Validar even gives her a reasonable score. Virion and Flavia are all smiles about her too. Chrom is once more conflicted about wanting her to do well and not wanting to compete against her. She is good, but he still doesn’t know if her personality is genuine or not.

Anna sing-songs out, “Chro~m,” and he feels his stomach disappear. Like he’s never done a single competition in his life. Mentally berating himself to get a grip, Chrom wedges the plastic cone on his head and moves to the stage.

Here goes nothing, he thinks as he starts to dance. As he goes through his routine, Chrom knows he’s a bit stiff. He can’t seem to make the motions as soft as they need to be, everything feels too forced. His knows his resulting score won’t be great, but it will be much better than Sumia’s or Stahl’s. Definitely not a personal best, but he’s not going to be sent packing.

After he’s done, Virion gives him a searching look. “Chrom, this week was… rather difficult for you and Lissa, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was.” Chrom fiddles with the hem of his shirt. He can’t seem to look him in the eyes.

Flavia’s smile at him is very sweet. “Maybe next week will be better for you.”

The warm feeling Flavia’s given him instantly evaporates as Validar cuts in to add, “It had better result in a better  _ performance _ as well.”

“Yeah, _ it will _ ,” Chrom snaps back. It’s not the greatest comeback, but man, give him a break. He’s just had the most exhausting week of his life and then this asshole is getting on his case? Chrom doesn’t care about much right now, least of all being nice.

Leaving the judges, Chrom finally takes off the plastic cone. His head feels permanently dented from where it sat on his head. He wants to drop kick it across the room. Maybe after Lissa’s done. She might want to kick hers too. He joins Gaius and Maribelle to watch her performance.

Gaius leans over again and whispers to him, “What do you think you’re doing? Don’t get on Validar’s bad side, he’s a judge.” His whispering voice has gotten a little quieter since Lissa pointed it out.

Lissa seems to be having a similar dancing problem Chrom was. She looks a little too stiff. 

Chrom hisses back, “I don’t care, I’m tired and sore, and dealing with shit.”

Maribelle gives his arm a pat. She whispers reassuringly to him, “Both you and Lissa are doing well given the circumstances, but Gaius has a point. Don’t fight your judge Chrom.”

Chrom  _ harrumphs _ and sourly watches the rest of his sister’s routine. 

Her score ends up being identical to Chrom’s. Virion gives her an encouraging few comments, and she comes off the stage looking far better than when she went on. She gives Marielle a high-five as she joins them. “God,” she whines, “I can’t wait to dump this cone in the trash! It’s deformed my head, I swear.”

Anna yells after her from the stage, “No trashing these! They are being collected and recycled for later!”

Sully gives out a grumble, “I would have liked to destroy this shitty thing too.”

The three judges deliberate for a minute and then Flavia waves at Anna. Anna calls them all to centre stage, “Come on back up, the final decisions are made!”

They all line up for Anna’s announcement. One of the camera crew slides out of the curtain behind the judges table where Olivia and Robin are still standing. Chrom had forgotten them and the cameras existed.

Anna clears her throat dramatically and waits until all eyes are on her. “And the winner of this week’s dance is…” She gives another elaborate pause, as if the winner was still a mystery to them. “Maribelle!” She claps enthusiastically, “Congratulations!”

They all cheer for her as she flips her curls and tilts her chin proudly. “Ha! Officially the paragon of grace, elegance, and poise!” She dips into a dramatic curtsey. 

“And now,” Anna dramatically intones, “the two who must perish.” She lets the silence hang over them for a few seconds for effect. Chrom can almost hear the drumroll that’s going to be added in post production. “Sumia, Stahl, Anna says sorrowfully, “I’m sorry but you both are homebound.”

Sully smacks Stahl on his arm and grumbles, “We were supposed to be in it  _ together _ , damn it.”

“Sorry Sul,” Stahl says as he gives her a little kiss on her forehead. “I’ll make you all your favourite foods when you come home.”

“You better, you graceless oaf,” Sully answers him, red-faced. She has never been big on PDA. She gives his arm a squeeze as Stahl moves away to the side. 

Sumia and Cordelia are having a bit of a tearful goodbye. Cordelia is holding Sumia’s face in her hands, and Sumia seems to have a death grip on her arms.

“I will call you,” Cordelia’s voice is wavering. “And we’ll talk about your flowers every night.”

Sumia’s voice is even more tearful than Cordelia’s. “I’m really happy to be your friend…” A few tears leak out of her eyes, and she grabs Cordelia into a tight hug.

“Hey,” Anna calls to them, “you know she’s just gonna wait a bit backstage right? She doesn’t have to leave right away...I explained this earlier?”

They both pull back and look a bit confused at Anna. Anna just sort of wiggles her hands towards the stage exit. “Look Sumia, just...go stand with Stahl while I announce the next dance style. You can come back after.”

No doubt that she’s going to have the final say in what gets edited before it airs. Chrom vaguely remembers that it gets edited and aired about a week from now. The exact time line was in the contract, but he just trusted Frederick to read it and tell him if it was ok to sign or not. 

Anna adjusts her shirt as Sumia shuffles off. Once she’s behind the curtain, Anna whips out a gold envelope from behind her back. Her voice has gone back to chipper. “Who’s ready for the next dance style?” 

The remaining six of them offer up a small cheer for the little envelope. It feels a bit silly, but they are being filmed and Chrom is a little excited about next week.

Anna dramatically flourishes the envelope open. “Next week’s...dance challenge...is…” She takes another pause. Chrom can hear the second post production added drumroll here. Anna purses her lips and sighs ruefully at the paper. “I really hope no one actually breaks a leg next week.” She smiles and winks at them, “It’s breakdancing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lissa: *promptly drop kicks her cone across the stage*  
> Anna: NO!!!

**Author's Note:**

> me: what if I made it so Em wasn't dead and don't have to write something sad  
> also me: but you love drama  
> me: damn, your right
> 
>  
> 
> you can also yell to me about this on twitter, I'm @gulkote on there  
> and big shout out to @ravefirell on twitter for reading this for me to make sure I had a cohesive storyline lmao (send them pics of robin, they'll love it)


End file.
